This isn't about a boy... it's about ALL boys! (thats my line, dont steal it!)

So going through some old notebooks the other day, I stumbled across one that I used for writing down thoughts, short stories, and lines I thought I'd make into a song one day. OK, so pretty much this was a notebook of future songs hahaha... I've always been a wishful thinker! So reading over some of the "songs" brought a smile to my face! Why? Not because they were happy or anything, but because they're pretty good! I'd totally listen to those songs haha. One thing I noticed though, FUCK are some things depressing! Guess it just reflects the state of mind I was in while I was still in the writing habit. I would've totally been in an emo band or something... hmm... there's still time!!!

Anyways, Bunch is gonna be a movie star! Okokokok, not necessarily, but he does have a small cameo in a documentary! Google that shit: "We Believe." He'll be the drunkard LMAO!

Well gotsta go!

oh ps, Friday we get to go to the RED CARPET PREMIER!! Holla!!!

and you kissed me like you meant it...

...and I knew, that you meant it.

Can you kiss me every forever, hold me till the sun comes up, and love me until our hearts stop beating? When we're both no longer here, will you search for me in the afterlife so we can spend eternity together?

I know you can.




I've got a terrible cold and an obnoxious earache. Fuck. I'm crabby as hell and everything makes me either mad or want to cry. I am a mess.

Bye.

woof.

I really can't stand people with no loyalties. I mean, those people who, on the surface, seem to always be there for you or have your back, but when it comes to little things, they always seem to show their true colors. Yes, I'm different. Yes, I spend a lot of time with my boyfriends. Yes, I have a lot of shit going on right now. That doesn't mean that once I get my shit back together and can chill and be carefree for awhile that I won't want the true one's to still be there waiting for me. I just don't think there is any such thing. Every one always has there own agenda. I may not be the best of friends as in always going out and such anymore, but I'm definitely the one to call when you need a problem solved, someone taken care of, or a shoulder to cry on. All I ask is the same in return. Loyalty. Maybe I should just get another dog.

Ah, the things one can find on CL!

So as usual, I get to work and immediately go on the Internet and pretty much bullshit my way to 11:30 am or so (before I start trying to do actual work) . One of my favorite stops on the information super highway is Craigslist. As I ravaged through the "Rants and Raves" section for Bulls postings as well as for whiny, cocksucking Boston Sucktics fans postings, I came across one who's title reeled me in. It was called "Soulmate? Not for me thank you." I absolutely loved it! HAHA just so happens he linked his blogspot. I will become a follower shortly HAHA!

So one last thing I need to mention before I stop writing (for now) is about how fucking pissed off I am about my work cafeteria shutting down at 9:15 am. I don't start work until 9:30 you fucking cunts! You seriously think I want to get here 15-30 minutes early just so I can partake in a delicious omelet??? I love those omelets but on principal I can not and will not bend to conform to you. Get your shit together assholes. I'd been getting omelets for about 2 years now at 9:35 and now you want to go and change it up on me? Absofuckinglutely ridiculous. I will definitely be writing you an angry letter!

Latas.

I miss being young...

I've said it once and I'll say it again: There's just not enough making-out happening.

Give me kisses. Lots! and Lots! of kisses.

Just make out with me.

That's all I ever want, more than anything.

//♥//

I only want to be part of your breakdown...

So much going on, so much to say, so much has happened.

For some reason I hadn't been much in the mood to blog my thoughts away as I sometimes am. Thanks to my prima sending me a Facebook wake up call, I decided to suck it up and write a little... or a lot HAHA. I have a feeling all my thoughts are gonna be so scattered so I'll try writing a paragraph for each different topic. Hope you can keep up with my life!!

*Bunch: I fall more and more in love with this man with every second. Every kiss lifts me closer up to heaven. If I never believed in soul mates before, he definitely converted me! He finally got auto-tune so now that's consuming him LOL. He rerecorded his dance song yesterday and premiered it for me and some friends at my house. It was fucking awesome. He's been trying to recover from a devastating Bulls loss. It was like sooo 3 days ago, but it cut him... it cut him deep, man. He wants Sundays play-off game tickets. Someone get him some!! He took me to a Cubs game. I'm not even a Cub fan, but I'd do anything to make him happy. In conclusion, I love him.



*School: I started school last Saturday. It was a long and grueling day. School is only on Saturdays and it is from 9 a.m to 4 p.m. LONG. FUCKIN. DAY. I need to get through this. I need to keep focused and keep myself from partying on Fridays. That's gonna be the hardest part!!! Ugh!! And waking up that early (I have an hour train commute so do the math) is already killing me!! Since the class is so long, we can't even miss one day cause we would miss massive quantities of information. This is definitely gonna be a challenge. *get through this Tink!* I am, contrary to what it might seem, pretty excited about this. It's something new. I pray this all works out.


*Fitness: I ran on the treadmill once. I meant well. I was gonna really get into it and go balls to the wall exercising and get fit. My treadmill had other plans. 50 minutes into my run the motor burnt out. No more treadmill. Great, now I'll never be skinny. Fuck me. Need to get a new plan of action... I'm pretty sure it doesn't/ shouldn't involve the pizza and cheeseburger I ate yesterday. =/


*Friends: I miss having a lot of friends. Having diversity. Although, I'm quite different from all my friends. I take pride in it. Sometimes, though, I need someone like me. Hmm... So Jeska, I referred to her in a previous post, has definitely become someone I can get down with. She went to the Death Cab For Cutie concert with me and we had a BLAST! DCFC was sooo intense. It was incredible. There's some drama that came out of this new found friendship, but I'll get into that under a different topic. One of my BFFFs, Luis, will be coming to Chicago soon... let the alcohol poisoning begin!!!


*Family: My mom has been getting on my nerves more and more with each passing day. Sometimes she doesn't even have to speak and I want to run for the hills. I need an apartment. This shit is serious.


*Work: I just want it to be over already. I want to know if I'm gonna get unemployment for sure though. I fuckin deserve it, like for real. Anyone have info on the qualifying factors to getting unemployment? Shoot em my way, please. Also, Facebook and Twitter are now blocked on my computers here at work. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW!?!?!? They hate me.


*Drama: So here's the big one. Apparently, as a result of Jeska being friends with me, there's been mad hateration. She uploaded a pic of me and her at the Death Cab concert and immediately got two replies from a "R" and an "A." Both these people of course are in cahoots with Bunchs' ex.


[background info: Bunch was dating "N" for about 6 years. Her brother is "R," her BFF is "A." Jeska is mutual friends with both Bunch and "N"]


So "R" wrote some nonsense about how Jeska is no longer his little [fill in nickname here]. Ya, lame sauce. I know. "A" simply wrote, "wow." Just when you thought it couldn't get any lamer, there it is. So all I'm saying is that if you have such a problem with her talking to me say it to her face. Or how bout this? How about everyone grow the fuck up and live their own mother effin lives? On the real though. If they didn't like the pic, move the fuck on. Better yet, when you saw the possibility of who was in the picture, don't fuckin look at it. How old are these people? 12? Are we back in elementary school where "If you're her friend you can't be my friend" still rules the playground? Sorry, I don't have time for the immature bullshit. I have grown up problems. I have big girl issues. I'm sorry YOU expected everyone to hate me just cause I'm with Bunch now. It clearly doesn't work that way. Get the fuck over it and let people judge for themselves. Same goes for those that are judging me and Jeska purely because of where their allegiance is. Don't talk shit about something you aren't truly a part of. A couple good things came out of this situation: 1) We know people stalk our shit and talk about us. I've always been quite popular, thanks for keeping me like that. 2) I've definitely developed a true respect for Jeska. She responded to the pic comments by saying something along the lines of, "It's my life I do what I want. I don't hate on what the fuck you do." Point is, she was so pissed off about this nonsense. I definitely need people like that in my life. I'm glad I got to see how cool she is. I like 'take no shit, I do my own thing regardless of what you have to say' people. We're gonna have a whole photo shoot soon. We'll have plenty of pics for CERTAIN people to hate on. Take that you fuckin haters.


So that just about sums up what's been going on since i've been AWOL.

I love that I'm my own person. I love that I don't give a fuck what anyone has to say about me. I love that I'm not like most the petty bitches out there. No one can hold me down, no one can hold me back. These bitches will never be on my level.

Holla.

I thought that I was doin' well but I just want to cry now.

"Who am I to dream? Dreams are for fools,they let you down."

There are just far too many things wrong with me that it wouldn't fair to sit here and try to write them out. There are definitely some deep rooted issues here.

Awesome jam session in Erick's car last night. Stayed at the bar till 4 a.m then continued the party outside of my house in his little ass Eclipse. Fist pumps and techno clapping. Hardcore. Awesomeness. We rule. You'll never meet another hip hop rocker like me! Not to talk myself up or anything, but I throw down. HAHA!

Anyways, I'm paying for all the perfection of last night/ this morning RIGHT NOW. I'm stuck here at work. I lost my voice. I feel sick to my stomach. Blah. SOOOOO fucking worth it though. Tonight, Bourbon Street. Gotta get my 80's hair band fix! w00t!

Might leave work early. Gotta get home and take a nap lmao!! Don't judge me!! I need to be well rested for tonight! Especially since its back to work tomorrow morning! So I need all the sleep I can get!! Fuck off...

Aiight, son. Gotta do work.

"Well I know that it's a wonderful but I can't feel it right now."